Tuesday, February 1, 2011

New Years Resolution!

I know what you're thinking. It's February. Isn't it a little late for New Year's Resolutions? Well, yes. But I swear, I made my list of resolutions on New Year's Eve like every other person. But tonight (as I am huddled underneath my blanket, stuck in my house until at least tomorrow afternoon due to a major blizzard happening at this moment) I am thinking about how I've done really bad on one particular resolution:

learn to let go

That is a really abstract resolution, but one I am determined to believe that if I can do, I will get over a lot of issues I have.

I don't let go of things easily. I don't get over things easily. I dwell. It's probably unhealthy the amount of time I spend dwelling on things. And it's not only thinking about things, I tend to harbor feelings of guilt and regret. Especially regret. I really wish things would've been different is a common thought in my head. The words I didn't say, the way a relationship ended, how I acted, how someone I was with acted. These are all things that, even after months and months, in some cases a year or more, I still feel regret over. I feel guilty over. It seems like I can't even help it, I've always been this way.

I have no idea if this is normal or not. More so, I have no idea how to NOT dwell. I don't know how to let go. Which is why I made a resolution to learn! But that is not going so well. Apparently there are no books that explain exactly how to let go of past mistakes and emotions and things that are not healthy to keep inside.

So I guess I'm looking for advice, stories, or anything at all that can point me in the right direction. Because one thing is for sure, I'm sick of losing sleep over something that ended more than a little while ago.

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